Delia ‘‘That hour every Wednesday was like a port in a storm where we could forget about dementia and relax’’
Retired nurse Delia Cartlidge and husband Stuart, a former aeronautical engineer, have been married for 52 years. Delia became Stuart’s carer after he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease in 2020.
The couple, who are both 76, joined The Reader’s dementia friendly Shared Reading group at Liverpool Central Library last October. Sadly, Stuart’s condition has deteriorated, and he is now receiving 24-hour care. Delia continues to go to the group by herself...
“Listening to someone read aloud is very therapeutic, it takes you into another world or time, and you can forget any problems or troubles in your own life, if only for a short time.
Speaking for Stuart and myself, that hour every Wednesday was like a port in a storm where we could forget about dementia and relax. For me especially, it lightened the load of being a carer, and so helped me to cope with an increasingly difficult situation.
Now that Stuart can no longer attend the group, that hour every Wednesday has become even more beneficial to me. I just love it! It’s the highlight of my week. We have all sorts of people dropping into the group of all ages which is also good.
I don’t know how Joan, who leads our group, comes up with such good readings and poems every week. Her enthusiasm, empathy and humour are better than any pills. She could save the NHS a fortune!
In July Stuart’s condition deteriorated virtually overnight and he was admitted to a nursing home where he is very well cared for. He hardly speaks, is unable to do anything at all for himself, and sleeps for long periods.
Stuart was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease in 2020, but I knew a year before. He had lost his sense of direction which was unusual for someone who carried a map in his head. At first, he covered it up well as he had other hobbies.
He’s a great bridge player - then didn’t want to play anymore. He was a man who could do the hardest Sudoku – then stopped doing any. He was always a very practical man who put in our central heating, changed car engines, always enjoyed DIY, was a whizz on computers and was an amateur radio enthusiast. But all that stopped.
Stuart had worked as an engineer for Lucas Aerospace. He was sponsored through university. They made parts for Harrier Jump Jets, and he managed a team of seven. But after a heart attack at 41, Stuart retired early in 2000 and enjoyed a vast array of hobbies.
We started going to the group in October 2023. With dementia you feel on edge a lot of the time coping with high stress levels but when I came to the Shared Reading group I could feel myself unwinding. I felt it was time for me without feeling guilty. It’s been such a marvellous support.”
Joan Brown, a trained volunteer with The Reader who leads the Central Library group, said: “We were all really fond of Stuart and were profoundly sad to see his condition deteriorate.
“The group, however, has given Delia so much support, which I know has helped her through these painful and difficult times. We’re all so glad that she still comes along every week and it’s obvious that Delia really benefits from her involvement in Shared Reading.
“Delia is a really lovely, popular and valued member of our group, and as well as receiving support she is also hugely kind and caring to others.
“Having been a passionate reader all of my life and having volunteered as a trained Dementia Friends Champion for several years, starting the Central Library group aimed at people living with dementia and their family carers was just perfect for me.”
I have chosen three short readings and three poems paired up by Joan for our sessions that I have especially liked...
- The Dish with the dancing Cows by Meera Syal and Human Family by Maya Angelou
- The Gold Cadillac by Mildred Taylor and Civil Lies by Benjamin Zephaniah
- Mrs Bixby and the Colonel’s Coat by Roald Dahl and Love Cuts by John Hegley
The Roald Dahl story has an expected sting in the tail ending. John Hegley’s poem with its wry humour and serious undertones, complements the reading perfectly.
The Gold Cadillac highlighted the racism suffered by so many black people in America, as seen through the eyes of a child. Sadly, such attitudes still exist, and not just in America. The poem by Benjamin Zephaniah is simple and profound. The final lines, Check the great things I was doing Before I suffered slavery, Yours Truly, Mr Africa are so hard hitting, so clever.
Meera Syal’s story is very moving and involves prejudice and misunderstanding. The ending, though, is uplifting and is a lesson for us all. Maya Angelou’s poem complements that story perfectly. What an amazing woman and Joan told us about the time she met her!
The Reader’s dementia friendly Shared Reading group takes place on the ground floor at Liverpool’s Central Library every Wednesday at 1pm.
To find out more about The Reader’s Christmas Appeal and to donate please visit here .
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