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Dave and the Giant Strawberry

Written by Dave Cookson, 23rd May 2011

Not content with just one food-based miracle, The Reader Organisation office encountered its second at lunchtime today.

Some may point out that it's merely conjoined, Niall suspects genetic modification whilst others seem to think it is a mutant. Mutants inspire memories of X-Men cartoons and films, and this hasn't started wearing dodgy clobber, blowing things up with lasers or controlling the minds of staff just yet. Using this deeply flawed logic we can deduce that it has not mutated, it is in fact a paragon within the world of strawberries.

The sheep on the right makes Princess Beatrice look sensible.

Like all things that we cannot explain, we had to study this. Not a particularly rigourous test - Mark plonked it on a piece of paper and measured it with a ruler, but give us a break, we read fiction, not endless amounts of science journals. 6.5cm wide for those interested. Cue an online village fete.

If anyone knows of any poems or short stories about gigantic/possibly mutated/conjoined strawberries then let us know. The closest we've got is a title based on Roald Dahl's James and the Giant Peach.

Roald Dahl's description of the peach:

"The walls were wet and sticky, and peach juice was dripping from the ceiling. James opened his mouth and caught some of it on his tongue. It tasted delicious."

Me on the strawberry:

It was massive and it tasted all right.

3 thoughts on “Dave and the Giant Strawberry

marktill says:

“Mark plonked it on a piece of paper and measured it with a ruler… 6.5cm wide for those interested.”

The strawberry. Before you ask.

Colin says:

Large strawberry stuck on a sheep’s head. Surreal.

[…] (Strawberries, now football, whatever next on our blog…) […]

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